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 thread  Author  Topic: Funnies Nov 14th 2004  (Read 1945 times)
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xx Funnies Nov 14th 2004
« Thread started on: Nov 13th, 2004, 6:37pm »

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver: "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs and tossed her in the back yard!" The silence in the cab was deafening.

A Texan takes his 12 year-old daughter to the doctor and asks to have him give her a subscription to the contraceptive Pill. "You want to put your 12 year-old daughter on contraceptives!?" asks the doctor, somewhat shocked, "Er, is she sexually active?" "Naw," says the Texan, "She's just like her ma, lies there like a sack of potatoes".

A lady walks into a sex store and says to the salesman, "Where are the dildos?" The clerk points and says, "On the wall over there." She looks and says, "I want one of the red ones." The salesman says, "No, lady. The dildos are the ones next to the fire extinguisher."

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

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