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 thread  Author  Topic: Jokes 19th Oct 2004  (Read 1739 times)
Princessa
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xx Jokes 19th Oct 2004
« Thread started on: Oct 19th, 2004, 08:07am »

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show with his dummy on his knee and he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching their full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humour!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologise when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"


===============


Jim and Beth were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Beth promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the medical director became aware of Beth's heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as he now considered her to be mentally stable.

When he went to tell Beth the news he said, "Beth, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself right after you saved him, with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead." Beth replied: "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."


===================


The doctor, who had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life, finally retired. At her next check up, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realised she has a prescription for birth control pills. "Mrs. Smith, do you realise these are BIRTH CONTROL pillshuh"

"Yes, they help me sleep at night." "Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!" She reached out and patted the young doctor's knee. "Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old granddaughter drinks... And believe me! , it helps me sleep at night!"
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