The Shrine BBS
« Haiku Zone »

Welcome Guest. Please Login or Register.
Jan 17th, 2018, 01:25am


Slow connection? Page slow to load? Choose the 'Lite' version from the dropdown box below to switch off the images :)

« Previous Topic | Next Topic »
Pages: 1 2 3  Notify Send Topic Print
 veryhotthread  Author  Topic: Haiku Zone  (Read 10531 times)
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #15 on: Jul 16th, 2003, 05:03am »

Mary and Oxfez
Sitting In a tree, 'K' 'I'...
...'S' 'S' 'I' 'N' 'G'

Last week in Tescos
I lost all my dignity
Forgot to get dressed

Old man in the pub
Reminiscing about war
Shipman is coming

Christ yakked on my shoes
I plied him with alcohol
He called me a 'c'unt'

Oxfez scrubs up well
But at the end of the day
He is handicapped
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #16 on: Jul 17th, 2003, 05:31am »

Moved to Hair Tavern
That's where these haikus belong
Not in the Spam Zone

American man
Kidnapped that twelve year old Brit
I can't spell 'psycho'

I have a problem...
I want people to love me
And also my goat

Shib's in love with Jazz
We are worried about him
He might be possessed

I'm going to lunch
Scared of the dinner ladies
Thay sat on my face
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
Princessa
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

Tired but heading for the gym...


Homepage PM

Gender: Female
Posts: 4270
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #17 on: Jul 17th, 2003, 10:14am »

Parents piss me off
more trouble than they are worth
just like teenagers

Mmm, think of nice things
Kevin Nash smeared in honey
hmm, i should stop there....
User IP Logged

User Image
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #18 on: Jul 21st, 2003, 05:45am »

I just spoke to God
Told me to free the Hebrews
And stab my uncle

Turds on Brighton beach
They really add character
And some E-coli

Matty smokes the hash
It makes him drive much better
Straight into prison

Poor Dr Kelly
Weapons of Mass Destruction
Take their next victim

See that last haiku
That was so political
I may masturbate
« Last Edit: Jul 21st, 2003, 05:46am by oxfez » User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #19 on: Jul 21st, 2003, 10:02am »

"Swallow that condom!"
I shouted at my Thai wife
One of my best wives

I made a pancake
Forgot to turn the gas on
There's egg on my face

Dr Sweet's dress sense,
Now although I can't be sure
I bet it's not great

My nipples are raw
Jogging with my new implants
But at least I'm HOT!

I just shed a tear
Kneeling at Stainiak's grave
He's wearing my shoes

Diarrhoea Man
He's the new hero in town
He saved my sphincter

Blah di-blah di-blah
It's all I hear when at church
Hearing aid's broken
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #20 on: Jul 22nd, 2003, 06:53am »

Elasticity
That's what brings me back to you
It's not love, you biţch

My favourite film is
Conan the Barbarian
Seven syllables

I laughed at her hair
The hair that was on her face
Then my wife slapped me

I am addicted
To all the joys that life brings
And to heroin

Evanescence suck
And I can prove they do too
Stainiak told me

Stone Cold Steve Austin
Reckon I could take him out
'Cos I'm not a girl

Going for a turd
Hope I remember to wipe
And with my bare hands
« Last Edit: Jul 22nd, 2003, 06:57am by oxfez » User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
Shib
Guest
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #21 on: Jul 22nd, 2003, 08:45am »

Right here we go...

Jazz is..


DAMMIT, why i Cant i do Haikus!
User IP Logged

oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #22 on: Jul 24th, 2003, 10:33am »

Shib can't write haikus
But don't laugh at him just yet...
... Wait for it.... Right...Go!

Can't talk to SHRINEBOT
Office Firewall stops me
Fu*k it... I'll go wank

Boring day at work
So I jerked of on my mouse
And on my hamster

I'll admit it now
I can't wait to talk to SHRINEBOT
And his metal dick

I dress to impress
Whenever I leave the house
So I go naked

Haikus are good fun
I recommend them to all
Except the Germans
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #23 on: Jul 25th, 2003, 10:13am »

I spoke to SHRINEBOT
A little disappointing
Thicker than tramp spunk

Updated my page
You know... my PC World one
Well... check it out here:
(http://www.pcworld.co.uk then select 'PC Games Chart' on the left hand menu)

People do read these
How do I know this is true?
The "read" count goes up

Saddam Hussain's sons
Died in a blaze of glory
I loved their 'tashes

I feel quite funky
Got the rhythm in my blood
Though it may be AIDS

Fill the car with gas
Load it up with explosives
Send it to Sharon
« Last Edit: Jun 2nd, 2004, 12:03pm by oxfez » User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #24 on: Jul 28th, 2003, 04:44am »

I got my head stuck
In perpetual motion
Now that'll teach me

Damn... I just found out
That Soylent Green is people
AND I'M ALLERGIC

Stainiak's on fire!
"Quick piss on him, put him out"
I put out his face

Here in Kentucky
You can marry your sister
The land of the free

I'm bored already
Time to staple my scrotum
To my manager

Second Amendment
Let's me keep guns and rifles
I can be a man
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #25 on: Jul 29th, 2003, 04:55am »

Think I'm getting ill
Much more sleepy than usual
And I'm pissing blood

The war in Iraq
I really really loved it
Thanks President Bush

I see the beauty
Of the naked female form
Whilst masturbating

Stainiak... 'The Curse'
In a cinema near you
It's rated PG

Flesh eating virus
Where is your humility?
You're so self centered

Just thought of something:
These aren't exactly poems,
More random-word threads

"You think you're all that
But you are sooo not all that!"
I said to myself

Damn, these haikus suck
I really am getting ill
That is my excuse
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #26 on: Jul 29th, 2003, 10:53am »

Rest In Piece Bob Hope
You were King of one-liners
Stainiak's a fag

My Chernobyl son
Was born without a penis
Just like his old man

I'm feeling better
No more blood in my faeces
My sphincter is blocked

SHRINEBOT's a dead man
He called Oxfez a homo
One time too many
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
oxfez
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

"Go Oxfez!" Shouted Oxfez


Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 2366
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #27 on: Sep 24th, 2003, 2:50pm »

Time for more Haikus
And I think we'll all agree...
I've wasted my life

Hutton Enquiry
Has bored me almost to tears
My tear ducts are blocked

"I'm coming unhinged!"
My bedroom door said to me
What a stupid door

I just picked a scab
From the new Sears catalogue
It's fashionable

Poured petrol on her
Struck a match and then lit her
Rhododendron bush

W.M.Ds
They still haven't found any
They should search my pants

Stainiak is gone
Gave his life for his country
Iraq will miss him

I'll do more at work
All you haiku fans out there
I'll satisfy you
User IP Logged

I came
They saw
They fired me...
Princessa
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

Tired but heading for the gym...


Homepage PM

Gender: Female
Posts: 4270
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #28 on: Sep 25th, 2003, 03:20am »

The New Shrine is done
and I have got fucking flu
Lukes has started school

User IP Logged

User Image
Dr S
SBBS Big Cheese
ImageImageImageImageImage


member is offline

Avatar

Bobby Baggio pitys the fool whos here looking for porn.

ICQ YIM YIM AIM
Homepage PM

Gender: Male
Posts: 802
xx Re: Haiku Zone
« Reply #29 on: Dec 4th, 2003, 08:16am »

found this thead
Oxfez can do more haikus
but I suck at em
User IP Logged



User Image
Pages: 1 2 3  Notify Send Topic Print
« Previous Topic | Next Topic »

Donate $6.99 for 50,000 Ad-Free Pageviews!

| |

This forum powered for FREE by Conforums ©
Sign up for your own Free Message Board today!
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Conforums Support | Parental Controls